The Risks of Not Homeschooling

Harvard Magazine recently upchucked an anti-homeschooling piece, wreaking of desperation to remind parents that the insolvent and corrupt Ivy League is still a thing as quarantine forces them to raise their own children for a change. Just a few days ago I would have said this subliminal and perhaps even subconscious fear–that those who had no interest in homeschooling before quarantine would maintain an interest after it–was unfounded. However, articles like this one, in which all except the most depraved of breeders are finding that being around one’s family for the majority of the day isn’t the hellish curse Hollywood and TV have conditioned us to expect–has caused me to reconsider. This article’s paranoid motivation may be merited if parents thought the deviant and/or depressive symptoms of U.S. public schooling was just ‘kids being kids,’ only to find that those symptoms evaporate in the absence of their source and restore unto them the bright-eyed young beings that loved life and learning before kindergarten began.

If American homeschoolers were not overwhelming white, this article would never have seen the light of day, for, as it readily admits, homeschooling is a statistical minority. Layered atop this (usually self-directed, self-loathing) anti-white agenda is the patently false caricature of homeschooling as something overwhelmingly or exclusively done by fundamentalist Christians. The comment section of the article–admirably still open, to the magazine’s credit–has already eviscerated the author on this front. But, caricature or no, it is interesting to consider that homeschooling would likely not register a blip on these busybodies’ radars, except for their raging W.A.S.P.ophobia. Any return to this country’s white, Christian origins–even if it is confined to culture and has nothing to do with demographics–is for them an unbearable thought, and the best way to prevent this hideous eventuality is apparently to make sure as few people as possible instruct their own children. I wonder what internal proclivity has led them to assume that Caucasians alone are willing to homeschool? What exactly are they suggesting about everyone else?

The surface-level accusations leveled against homeschooling are only slightly less phantasmagoric than the concealed ones aforementioned:

…people can homeschool who’ve never gone to school themselves, who don’t read or write themselves.

[…]

Even those convicted of child abuse, she adds, could “still just decide, ‘I’m going to take my kids out of school and keep them at home.’”

These are some of the flimsiest uncited uses of “can” and “could” I have read in recent years–and that comes from someone who occasionally peruses Infowars articles. Are you, dear citizen, aware of the conspiracy by the illiterate child-haters to keep their offspring as near to them as possible? Yes, I heard they’re going to team up to buy some black helicopters and snatch their own children away from the loving embrace of those high-IQ government employees!

The enlightened lawyer-professor Bartholet then leans upon good old Uncle Sam (whose W.A.S.P. values she would doubtlessly like us to flee from in every other instance) to argue that the country founded in 1776 totally depends upon compulsory education laws that began in the 1920s. She also cites Germany as an ideal example for banning homeschooling entirely (organizing the Hitler Youth would have been far more difficult in the absence of public schooling, to be sure).

“The issue is, do we think that parents should have 24/7, essentially authoritarian control over their children from ages zero to 18? I think that’s dangerous.”

As dangerous as evolution itself, ma’am. Believe it or not, there was a time when we, like most every other mammal with needy offspring, all exercised such 24/7 “control.”

“I think it’s always dangerous to put powerful people in charge of the powerless, and to give the powerful ones total authority.”

So, to prevent the tyranny of the family, let us further empower the tyranny of the government. Was it by chance an acquaintance of yours who coined the phrase, “do not cut off your nose to spite your face”?

I would grade your work here, Professor, but frankly, I don’t give an F. And neither, if you haven’t noticed, do those daylight prisoners in those ugly prison-esque buildings, whose test-scores plummet by the year, while your colleagues twiddle their thumbs and ponder why the children of high-IQ and homogeneous nations are doing so much better?